When Doctor Destructo said that he wanted to go ice fishing, I thought he was joking. When I realized that he was perfectly serious, I thought he was loony -- the thermometer read minus forty.

But when there are fish to be caught, extreme temperatures are a mere inconvenience. Off we went to the frozen surface of the Red River, where we found his friend's fishing shack



As my I shuffled around on the ice snapping photos, Doc augered three feet down to the water.



The shack has a small wood-burning stove which warmed the shack from minus 35 degrees to about 10 or 15 degrees, so it turned out to be quite comfortable. Given a good selection of snacks and beverages, it could be a regular party-in-a-box.


Then we sat. And waited. And ate beef jerky (thankfully, it wasn't from the Country Fair deli).

Finally, all of our snacking paid off. I felt a tug on my line and fought for my life to reel in the monster. Suddenly, its great, gaping maw burst through the ice, with jagged teeth that snapped viciously at us. But Doc strayed too close, and it ripped his leg clean off at the hip. Now the monster had a taste for human blood, which drove it into a frenzy.

Well I decided that I wouldn't stand for any more insolence from this fish, so I dove into the icy water and wrestled it into submission. Quickly, I performed the Vulcan nerve pinch and knocked the fish out cold. I pulled it back up through the hole in the ice into the warmth of the cabin, where the good doctor was already reattaching his leg with a little fishing line and a fishhook.

All in all, it was a good day of fishing. We felt bad about taking such a large beast from the river's depths, however, so we decided to throw it back after taking a quick snapshot.



Yes, it was a good day of fishing.

This sign appears on the front of a deli in Winnipeg. They are no longer in business. Was it their motto, do you think?

Winnipegians are a hearty folk with antifreeze running in their veins. The temperature is somewhere around minus 35 degrees. That's without the wind chill factor. With wind chill, it's about minus 50. Fifty degrees below zero!

With such balmy temperatures, the local corner stores do a brisk business in slushie drinks. I'm not kidding here -- the convenience store at the Husky station had a giant sign on the sidewalk that advertised their ice-cold "Cold Sucks".

Here I am with my brother, Doctor Destructo, relaxing in the back yard with our slush drinks. It's thirty below in a sheltered spot. At least our slushies won't melt before we finish them.

Today, I embark on a perilous journey to the frozen wasteland known as Winnipeg. It's a flat, barren place of snow, dirt, and bison (much of the first two being located on top of the last one). Endless squares of farmland stretch to the horizon under a think blanket of snow, and where the rivers meet, in the city, one can buy knicknacks, interesting snacks, and miniature souvenir canoes. Polar bears roam freely through the city streets, sushi is scarce, and cattle farmers drive snowmobiles up and down the frozen river, beer in hand, with shouts of "whoo hoo!"

Whoo hoo, indeed.

More reports to follow.

Image: The weather report for Winnipeg.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Please allow me a moment to whine openly about RSI. Recently, my left wrist began to ache. Then feel numb. Now it's quite weak and hurts all the time. I'm a lefty mouser, and I basically trashed my left wrist by sitting at a computer for most of the day.

So I switched hands. Now both wrists hurt, and I can barely do my job, which requires constant typing and mousing. Basically the only thing one can do to fix the problem is to stop using a computer. Yeah, like I can just stop eating and paying my bills for a while too. I'm sure the bank will understand, right?

Let this be a lesson to all you young whipper-snappers out there who thing it will never happen to you. It will. Stop using your computer now, or you'll lose the use of your hands.

Ow.

BBC News posted a blurb about the Gaming Open Market, a currency exchange for virtual currencies used in online games. On this site, you can trade US dollars for currencies in The Sims Online, Ultima Online, There, Second Life, and others.

Regular readers of my blog know that I'm hopelessly addicted to a metaverse game called Second Life. After four months of building and selling vehicles in the game, I'm comfortably well-off now -- within the Second Life metaverse. But let's just see how much that gets me in the real world...

Hmm... at an exchange rate of 0.0026 USD to the Linden Dollar, I'd get... $195. That means that playing this game could make me an average monthly salary of $48.75. Hey, that's enough to cover the cost of playing and buy me a fast-food lunch or two.

I don't think I'm ready to quit my day job.

Link: BBC News: Virtual cash exchange goes live

(As an aside, the BBC article features a screenshot of "There", a chat game, with the caption, "Second Life is about meeting and greeting". Just so you know, unlike "There", Second Life is not primarily about meeting and greeting. It's about building and scripting.)

Yup. Slush.

Vancouver has reverted to its rainy ways, and we now live hip-deep in slush. Well, okay, maybe just ankle deep. Almost.

No, I can't think of anything more interesting to blog about than the weather.

Yup. Snow.

The "severe snow storm" predicted by panicky news teams has turned out to be a snow flurry. It's mostly stopped now, and traffic seems to be moving normally.

I bet those people who decided to stay home from work are feeling a bit silly now. While they're trapped in their homes sipping hot cocoa, we're here at the office--

um... doh.

Yes, 2004 has lumbered into our lives. It looks a lot like 2003, but for the top story of the week. It's an event so bizarre for this town that it makes banner headlines on the Vancouver Sun: "Brrr! More snow, cold weather ahead".

The words strike fear into the hearts of all Vancouver residents. Peering through the blinds, they see something bizarre happening in the street. Pools of water have changed their form from a liquid to a solid! Cars slide helplessly into other cars, and small children fall over randomly. The very laws of physics have been turned upside down.

There's more. Meteorologists predict that soon there will be snow falling -- snow! And not just a dusting, but thirty centimeters!! The city, with only a handful of snow plows, will be rendered helpless.

The worst of it: ducks are thrown into disarray: "At Lost Lagoon in Stanley Park, confused ducks coming in for a landing could be seen skidding along the icy surface," says the Vancouver Sun.

Please send help. Think of the ducks. Please, think of the ducks.