In the past few months, I've been very good about lunch. Oh, I still eat awful things, like big stacks of deep fried things with noodles, and choke down foot-long cheese-steak subs, but for the most part I've entirely eschewed the Scottish restuarant.

Until today. Today I had a bit of a lapse. As I walked past McD's, stomach grumbling, I found myself walking in the door, against all better judgement. And as I chewed the first bites of a "Big eXtra" burger with "cheese" (that one definitely has to go in quotation marks), it struck me as never before that McD's "beef" (also should be in quotes) tastes remarkably like oily foam rubber.

No, there was nothing wrong or different about this particular McD's burger -- I suspect that they've always tasted like that. I just hadn't previously been away from them long enough to truly appreciate how awful they are.

The fries, on the other hand, are full of lovely tallow-ish flavour, and give you a full week's worth of salt in only one serving. Hold on a sec--

*cough* *cough*

Come on heart--

*cough* *cough*

Ah. There it goes. I'm ok now. Yes, I can't get enough of those fries.