Once again, it's time to pitch the dreaded "bad blurb". I hope others will follow me in this grand entirely pointless tradition. Famous movie producers should note that the rights to my bad blurbs sell for ONE MILLION DOLLARS! (each)

Corky Corkster McCorcoran was accidentally born as a slug, although in all other respects, he seems completely human. School is difficult for Corky--his classmates tease him and, in sports, players often mistake him for the ball in rugby matches.

One day, Corky is stepped on by the famous television chef, Emeril Laflasse, who agrees to nurse Corky back to health and train him to say "BAM!". Soon Laflasse and Corky become fast friends and Corky becomes a master chef, with an impressive range of dishes.

Then, during the taping of Corky's first television appearance, a flying saucer lands on the studio's roof: it's Corky's real parents, who are accompanied by several warriors from Slimeron Four of the Slimerian Star Empire. As the Slimerians ooze through the studio's hallways, sliming everyone, Corky whips up a batch of his famous salt-crust salmon and offers it to the warriors to stop their muderous rampage. After the warriors eat the salmon and shrivel into raisin-like lumps, he explains to his Slimerian parents that he's really happier here on Earth and would they please stop killing everyone. His parents agree to depart, but leave directions back to Slimeron Four, should Corky change his mind.

Everyone (still alive) in the studio celebrates! Corky has saved Earth from invasion, and has created a delicious salmon-and-raisin dish in the process! BAM!