Back in February I launched an investigation into the mystery of the missing utensils ? namely the spoons and the coveted spork. All of the spoons had mysteriously vanished from the sixth floor kitchen. Due to a complete lack of evidence (and investigative competence), I quit the case in order to found the Church of the Holy Spork.

Well that turned out to be a mistake too, and now that I've returned to technical writing, there's been a new development. The bowl is now missing as well, and the word on the street is that the dish ran away with the spoon.

My first instinct was to bring the cow in for questioning. Unfortunately, during her jump over the moon, she made a slight miscalculation in her trajectory and is trapped in a high orbit around the earth. The Russians are sending a Soyuz spacecraft to recover her, but they fear the worst.

The little dog is my next suspect. Both the cat and the fiddle claim that the dog was there and was crippled with bouts of insane laughter. Sounds suspicious to me.