Specifically, my bootless cries are something like this: "Ow!", "Argh!", "Aaa!!"

Today, for the first time in... well, a very long time... I'm wearing shoes. Ordinarily I wear boots. Today, however, I am without boots. Bootless, you might even say.

They just weren't fashionable anymore. The days of Doc Martens have come and gone, but I stuck with them, just because they were so comfey. But now I can't continue... Docs are no longer sold in Canada. It's a tragedy for fashion holdbacks like me.

Today I'm wearing a new pair of shoes. They hurt my feet. And my ankes feel so naked. Worse still, now I have to make sure that I wear the right colour of socks, whatever that is.

Terrible.

Oh Docs, why have you forsaken me?