Last night I accidentally ate something healthy for dinner. Today I'll have to compensate by eating something absurdly greasy.

There are several grades on my scale of greasiness.

• Non-greasy. Anything with leaves, I suppose. To be perfectly honest, I'm not very familiar with this category.
  
  
• Greasy. Fried noodles. Fried eggs. Fried green tomatoes.
  
  
• Really greasy. Bacon. Fish and chips. Pizza.
  
  
• Dangerously greasy. All-meat pizza. McDonald's Hockey Hero Sandwich. Duck.
  
  
• Absurdly greasy. Deep fried pizza. Deep fried duck (with cheese). A deep-fried Hockey Hero Sandwich topped with nacho cheese dip and duck drippings.

So there you go. Do print out this list as a handy reminder when choosing foods at lunch time. And remember: if you eat something healthy, balance it out by eating something equally unhealthy.

!!WARNING!!
Like matter and anti-matter, the greasy and non-greasy foods should never come in direct contact with each other, or the resulting explosion could wipe out all life on the planet.