Taking a look at the calendar, I see that it's the last day of March. That can mean only one thing. Well, actually, it means a great many things, but one thing that it means in particular is that it's time to post... When Internet Searches Go Terribly Wrong.

This is my monthly compilation of my favourite misguided search requests. Let's start with the penguin-related searches:

foot preference in penguins
I prefer the left foot, but I hear the right foot goes well with chardonnay.

what else is interesting about penguins
What isn't interesting about penguins. I mean, just look at them.

bacon penguins
That sounds like a genetic experiment gone terribly wrong.

oops anal penguins
I think in that context, "oops" is definitely an understatement.

pictures of naked penguins
Try National Geographic.

naked royal penguin
I wish those paparazzi would leave the royals alone.

chimps on penguins wmv
That's wrong in so many ways.

More wildlife questions:

spotted snow emu
Sorry, we nabbed the last one at Christmas.

What do muffled lemurs eat?
Not much until you remove the muffler.

Normal Campbell's Dwarf Hamsters Pictures
Is it just me, or are canned soups getting really strange lately?

Pressing questions:

Top things not to do in a cubicle
I don't think I want to discuss that publicly.

writing a blog is proof that I'm
Proof that you're what?? Don't leave me hanging!

naked canadian mounties
Thankfully, there are no naked police officers on this site.

chunkylover53
I still get hundreds of hits for this one. chunkylover53@aol.com. It's Homer's e-mail. What else do you need to know?

any damn notes on anil's ghost
Sounds like term papers are due soon.

missing spoons and the connection with after life
It may have something to do with The Holy Spork of Antioch.

sexy professor simon fraser salmon
Sounds like there's an embarrassing story behind this one.

And then the strangest searches of the month:

Stephen Cavers

"Stephen Cavers" "vancouver"