Congratulate me. According to Google, I am now the world's foremost authority on the McDonald's "Hockey Hero Sandwich".

For those who haven't read the original post that brought me this notoriety (see Hockey glutton sandwich), this burger is a cow's nightmare. There's about as much processed cheese and cow matter as one can fit between two halves of a bun, and I suspect that the lettuce shreds and tomato are just a formality to keep up appearances. As for the bun, it's a nuisance too, as it detracts from the purity of the meat-and-cheese experience. Admittedly, it does perform the valuable function of keeping your hands free of dripping grease.

Although I've never tried one, I can't dispute Google's decision in the matter. This is a heavy responsibility (and a heavy burger) and I will carry the burden with pride. So go ahead, ask me anything at all about the Hockey Hero Sandwich.