This morning I discovered a package on my desk. In an unmarked brown envelope was a videotape labeled Confidential: Jobs iSpork Demo. With the tape in hand, I went directly to the company's VCR and locked the door behind me.

In the darkened room, I had quite a shock as I realized that the tape was authentic. It appeared to be a recording of a product demo made by Steve Jobs, although when and to whom, I couldn't tell. The product: the yet-to-be-revealed Apple iSpork prototype.

Although Apple is aware that Microsoft is already developing a spork-themed product, Jobs is nevertheless pushing forward with the uniquely-designed iSpork, which features a large, translucent handle that plays MP3s, takes digital photos, records DVDs, and connects to a Mac via FireWire. His prototype iSpork had two gigabytes of memory, but the target is at least ten gigabytes for the final product. This would mean that iSpork users could digitally record several hours of sporking, then either burn it directly to DVD or transfer it to their Mac for editing.

The taped demo was only ten minutes long, though quite revealing. It's clear to me that regular spork users are about to be caught between these mega-corporations as they vie for spork market share.