The search for Peter Mansbridge continued until about ten o'clock last night, when somebody noticed that Peter was reading the news on The National. Baffled by this, we abandoned the search.

This morning, we walked over to the prime minister's place to get some answers. We arrived to find Jean and Aline stringing up their arctic hares for Bonhomme. It was a touching moment, and we hated to intrude on their Christmas preparations, but this was important.

As any Canadian knows, it's tough to get a straight answer from Jean. Doing so usually involves sitting around the fire listening to Jean babble incoherently while he waves his Inuit sculpture threateningly. Jean likes reliving the glory days when he could personally attack citizens at will.

Eventually we got some answers, but only after agreeing to let him throttle Premier Campbell. It seemed like a good deal to us, but things got messy when Gordon pulled out his pepper spray, making Jean cry, "Dat's no fair! For me, pepper, I put it on my plate!"

As it turns out, the Peter Mansbridge we had seen on the National was a clone. Moreover, we haven't had a real Peter Mansbridge since the 80s. Well, the clones are doing a fine job ? possibly better than the original, although, according to Jean, they have a repulsive habit of polishing their forehead with oolican oil.

Amazing. I'd just assumed that Peter liked Old Spice.

With that settled, we trudged home to continue our Christmas preparations.