Last night's tree-raising party was just ripping along until Bernard Landry announced that he wants to separate Christmas from the rest of Canada. He'll hold a referendum as soon as he's guaranteed a "Yes" vote.

This morning Doug, Doug, and I trudged out onto the ice to fish for breakfast. Swatting away the swarms of wolverines, we contemplated a year without Christmas. On the one hand, as Doug pointed out, Shatner wouldn't harass us any more about hosting the Christmas Eve rituals. I had to agree with that one. On the other hand...

Actually, that first argument seemed pretty conclusive. For a few moments, we felt quite satisfied with letting Landry deal with Shatner, who was from Montréal originally.

But no... how could we tell the children that they could no longer sacrifice hares for Bonhomme? How could we tell them that there would be no emu hunt? No more clubbed baby seals? No more clearcut trees? No. For the sake of the children, we have to keep these traditions going.

Just then, Doug got a bite and reeled in his catch. Today, we eat narwhal.