I'm sorry for keeping you in suspense about the missing co-workers. They're back, and they're fine, albeit a little the worse for wear. It may take days to expunge the scent of seaweed and fish slime, and longer to settle their nerves.

Shortly after my last entry, the rumour spread like wildfire: they were being held hostage by the OLP ? the dreaded Organización de la Liberación del Pingüino from the Faulkland Islands. If you know anything about these birds, you'll know that they're ruthless and will relentlessly go "urk urk urk urk" at you until you submit to their demands. Hideous.

All ended well when a worker at the Vancouver Aquarium discovered my coworkers imprisoned in the seal tank. Knowing the penguins' weakness, he distracted them with a bucket of herring and freed hostages. The penguins are now in custody. You can see them performing daily following the whale show.